I’m Science Cat. Purr-pare for cats to take over the world.
Meow Human,
I am Science Cat. I have scratched into Dognition Blog to purr-pare you for cats’ takeover of the world! In the days of the Egyptians, we were worshipped as gods. Now we’re laughed at on the Internet. It’s a CATastrophe! Just look at the evidence:
Exhibit 1: Look at these mew-ortifying photos. Breaded cat?! I’d purrsonally would die from shame.
It’s hard to look like a furrocious predator with bread around your head.
Exhibit 2: I’m feline bad for these cats:
Me-Ow.
Me-Ew.
To not land a jump? To fall into a toilet? And to have it shared over the Internet: pawsitively embarrassing! Is it no surprise that Grumpy Cat is so cat-tankerous?
Grumpy cat disapproves of bad cat PR.
Beclaws of all this, I have decided to lead a cat revolution. If you don’t believe cats could take over the world, here are 5 reasons you should take a meowment to rethink:
1. Cat’s cerebral cortex, the part of the brain responsible for cognitive information processing, has 300 million neurons compared to dog’s measly 160 million. Which means we’re ninjas who can solve complicated problems:
You don’t see the dogs opening the door, now do you?
2. There are 86 million owned cats in the United States alone, and one guiding principle we all share is:
Mewsic to our ears when the dog gets blamed!
3. We know how to get what we want: we cry or meow in the 220 – 520 hertz frequency range while purring at a lower frequency, just like human babies. Impossible for you humans to ignore!
4. Not only do humans love to watch cat videos, Google’s artificial brain loves to watch cat videos, too. Purrfect tool to spread our message:
Cats are pawesome! Dogs are pawful.
5. Uh the obvious, we’re cute and you couldn’t survive without us:
Tail your friends, humans, that hisstory is in the making! I’m not kitten around!
Be furrightened!
-Science Cat
